So today, the 8th November 2016 is my 24th birthday. A birthday I’m always going to remember.
For the longest time I’ve had something hanging over my head and it’s finally gone.
man coward who did the worst thing he could possibly do to anyone has finally gone. 2 weeks ago I found out I can finally stop looking over my shoulder and this year is going to be the best one yet!
After over a decade of looking over my shoulder, shuddering and panicking every time I saw a bald man and being worried about new places just incase he was there; they’re all gone! The cowardly thing who shaped my life in such a negative way can no longer hurt me. The one who tried to turn me against my step-dad can no longer control my life in any way.
He hurt me, twisted his words to get what he wanted and then sent me home after my ‘Saturday visits’ keeping his dirty little secret. He violated me and made me do things nobody, let alone a child should be forced to do. I’ve been left with scars that will never go away and thoughts that may never leave. But he’s gone and he can never come back and can never, ever do it again.
Most people in my life don’t even know this happened to me, and the friends that I told made me out to be a liar. Even out of my life he still managed to ruin friendships and relationships because of what he had done.
My Mum has always said to me ‘nuture over nature’. The man in the pictures is my Dad. Maybe not biologically, but in any and every other form of the word. He brought me up and he was always the one to pick up the pieces. All the memories I have with him are fun and positive and to think he even feels guilty for what happened breaks my heart!
To think one horrid piece of scum can impact a life so greatly that it impacts every part of it, and even the people are around them makes me sick.
My Dad was my rock growing up, the man who cheered me up and picked me up. The man who set my boundaries and shaped who I am as a person. The man who walked my down the aisle on my wedding day! The man who helped give my morals and to this day still cracks me up & equally winds me up just like he always has!
Chris is the one who’s there for the 2am panic attacks and the need for constant reassurance. But he’s also the one that wants to travel the world with me and makes me laugh every single day.
My Flynn Rider and the one who feeds my Disney obsession. My binge watching partner and the one who I’ll always give my last rolo. He forgives all my flaws and I couldn’t be more grateful for how hard he works for our future.
Onwards and Upwards
I count myself lucky every single day that I have such a supportive family around me and people to make me feel loved in the right way, and not to get something that they want.
I have an amazing family, incredible husband & we’re currently remodelling our dream house to settle down in. Going into my 24th birthday, my 1st year without that black cloud and I’ve never been so happy.